


You Are Dirk Strider

by herekittie



Series: (We don't get our) Happily Ever After [7]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Depression, Post-Sburb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 22:12:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2749022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herekittie/pseuds/herekittie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is DIRK STRIDER and you don’t do much anymore.</p><p> </p><p>In which Dirk blames himself for the fallout of his friendgroup, blames himself for causing everyone problems, and thinks about how Roxy is the best thing in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are Dirk Strider

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [After Effects](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2096835) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 



Your name is DIRK STRIDER and you don’t do much anymore.

Your friends don’t talk to each other anymore and Roxy is the only one bothering to pester all three of you on a daily basis, probably to make sure none of you kick the bucket. Haha, bucket. It’s not funny. Nothing is funny anymore.

The only funny thing left is the irony of your situation. It’s all your fault that your friends are in such terrible shape, even though you’ve tried everything you can think of to keep them together and keep them safe. In the end, it was your selfishness that broke the group apart. 

You knew Jane liked Jake, but you asked him out anyway. Then you killed your relationship by chasing him away with all your clingy-ness and insanity and problems, and Jake went to Jane to talk about you and your problems, oblivious as he is to her feelings and on her birthday no less (on hindsight you should have addressed that part of him from the start, and probably mentioned Jane liked him, but you were so caught up in your little crush and fears of abandonment you did nothing). Jane never really forgave him for the whole fiasco, then again she rarely forgave nowadays. The fact that Jake forgot the game entirely was just the icing on the cake (she no longer bakes).

And Roxy. Poor, sweet, precious Roxy. She is the only one of all of you who still think you all can get back together, return to life before the game when everybody talked and laughed and were happy (you think she hoped that the game had removed any remaining romantic bullshit that ruined everything you had, and you think it did and hope she is happy for it because everything else has gone to hell). 

You took away Jane (her best friend) by driving a stake between her and Jake and filling her with rage. You were such a horrible boyfriend Jake forgot the entire game and Roxy can’t talk to him without being interrogated (there was more than that, Roxy had said, but you knew that was the start of the downhill roll). Then there is you. Try as you might, no matter how much you force yourself, you can’t hold a proper, fun conversation with her anymore. 

She is really too good for this world, for them, for you. She deserves so much better. 

HAL is gone, so there is that. The game took away all the sprites when it ended, and everything the sprites had been prototyped with. You were the one who tossed him into that once-prototyped kernel, so you could say you made him a sprite, and so his metaphorical blood is on your hands. You murdered him when you won the game. You knew how much Roxy liked him, and you took that away from her too.

Everything is broken and beyond help and it is all your fault. In your large room, with only your robots for company, you lay in bed and wonder if Happily Ever After is just not possible for a fuckup like you.


End file.
